Proving your Ex is an Unfit Parent

Divorce and separation often cause emotions to run high, and where child custody disputes come in to the mix the emotional distress generally intensifies significantly.

In many cases each parent will have a different view on what is best for their children and on the other parent’s fitness to provide the care that is required.

In some cases, a parent may not be able to provide what is best for the children in their current situation or state of mind. In this case they may be an unfit parent.

We can help you get child agreements in place, protecting you and your children.  
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Proving ex is unfit parent - unfit mother or unfit father

Deciding who will be the Main Care Giver

During the divorce and separation process one of the most often disputed areas are the child arrangements, colloquially spoken of as “child custody arrangements”.

When two parents separate they must agree on who will be the main care giver for the children, how child visitation is arranged and how much child maintenance will need to be paid.

This can be done through mediation and negotiation if you can come to an agreement amicably, or through a court order.

When your Ex is an Unfit Parent

If you consider your ex to be an unfit parent, you would probably not be content with any arrangement other than being granted sole custody.

This means that it is likely that your desired outcome cannot be achieved without extended mediation and even court proceedings, unless your ex willingly steps aside.

It’s an agonising procedure, even in the best of scenarios, and in some unfortunate situations it’s inevitable.

We can provide you with expert advice tailored to your situation.

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What Constitutes an Unfit Mother or Unfit Father?

Your ex may be an unfit mother or an unfit father if they have a proven their inability to take care of, or understand the needs of your children, or if it could be reasonably considered that they could be putting your children in danger whilst they are in their care.

Do you need a child agreement in place or are you in need of a specific residence order or contact order? Our family law solicitors can advise you on what steps to take next.


How do I prove my ex is an Unfit Mother or Unfit Father?

To prove your ex is an unfit parent you can use evidence of:

  • A history of drug or alcohol abuse
  • A history of domestic abuse; either physical or emotional
  • A history of mental illness that could incapacitate the parent to care for the children adequately
  • Their ability to understand the needs of the children, including the need for food, clothing and education
  • Unreasonable behaviour during the divorce process
  • Their ability to discipline children fairly
  • The quality of their house or neighbourhood where they live in a home that is unsafe for children to reside in
  • A history of criminal offences and/or imprisonment
  • A strongly negative attitude of the children towards the parent, or unwillingness to live with that parent

As a parent you will do anything to make sure your children live in a safe environment, being cared for and loved unconditionally. If you believe your ex can not, or will not, provide such safety and comfort they are likely unfit to be a parent.

We can help you understand your options and help you set out arrangements that are in the best interest of your children.

Seeking Full Custody

If one parent believes the other to be an unfit mother or an unfit father such custody cases can escalate into a nasty battle.

The parent seeking “full-custody”, to become the sole care giver, must prove to the courts that the other parent is unfit to care for the children. There are a variety of ways to prove a mother or father is an unfit parent, as it will depend on the specific situation you are in.

We can represent you during any disagreements on child arrangements after separation. 

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Gathering Evidence to Prove your Ex is an Unfit Parent

Judges are often reluctant to forbid a parent access to their children, which is why strong and unbiased evidence must be provided when making any statements in court.

Evidence that will strengthen your case includes photographs, video or other media clearly portraying for example domestic abuse or substance abuse near the children. Text messages, voicemails and social media messages or posts can also help you to prove certain behaviour.

If your ex has either physically abused, you or your children you can also provide medical records related to the injuries of the abuse. It may not be conclusive evidence of abuse in all cases, however it will strengthen any other arguments you make.

Witness Statements to Support your Arguments

If others have witnessed your ex’s behaviour leading you to believe they are unfit to be a parent, you may also be able to introduce witness statements.

Where domestic abuse is the issue, your neighbours may have heard screaming, or checked up on you after your partner left. School teachers may have had uncomfortable conversations with you or your children, which caused them to be concerned. Friends may have often noticed bruises or babysitters seen strange behaviour.

Even if no one has seen the full extent of your ex’s behaviour, you may be able to paint a clear picture to the judge with multiple witness statements describing the same worrying actions and attitudes.

Contact us for help when you are seeking full custody.

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Should I get a Child Arrangement Order if my Ex is an Unfit Parent?

Where a dispute involving a child goes to court as parents can’t come to an agreement, the court would issue what is called a “child arrangement order”. This process would commonly be referred to as a “child custody battle”

This is a legally binding document regulating arrangements relating to who the child is going to live with, spend time with or otherwise have contact with.


Should I Try Mediation Before Taking my Ex to Court?

Since April 2011 it has been compulsory for couples going through divorce to be referred for mediation before continuing to court proceedings. Exemptions to this rule apply in cases where there are reports of domestic abuse in the past 12-month period.

It is not compulsory for couples to commit to an ongoing mediation program. It will depend on your situation and your willingness to attempt to address all your child custody issues with your allegedly unfit ex through mediation rather than letting the family court decide.


How will a Custody Battle Effect my Child?

A custody battle where one parent is accusing the other to be unfit to care for children is going to have a negative effect on all the involved parties, however there are steps you can take to minimise this effect on your children.

You should shield your children from as much of the procedures, mediation sessions and court hearings as possible.

This means you should not be discussing matters regarding the divorce or child agreement hearings in front of your children, or in a place where they can easily hear you. This also includes speaking negatively about your ex to them, or in their vicinity to others.

Children often understand more than we think and hearing the bitter details of your divorce battles and the highly emotional negative opinions towards your ex could leave a lasting impression.

It’s further advised to create as much stability in their lives as you can and keep them in the same schools and living area where you can.

A divorce or separation will always have an effect on a child. If you believe that your children are struggling with the process and aftermath of a divorce you may also want to consider options such as school counselling or therapy.


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Find out How our Solicitors can Help You

Our team of highly experienced family law solicitors can help you get through your divorce and child agreements as quickly, cost-effectively and efficiently as possible.

We focus on minimising the impact a divorce has on all parties involved, especially the children. We will ensure that all your child and financial agreements are set out clearly and unambiguously so future arguments over previous agreements are avoided, so you and your children can move on.

We are here for you, throughout the entire process. Call for more information on proving your ex is an unfit parent to 0844 414 0667 or request a call back for a time that is better suited.

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Starting the process couldn’t be more simple!

  • Contact us Contact us Get in touch however suits you best and arrange a consulation with one of our solicitors
  • Meet an expert Meet an expert You’ll meet the expert solicitor assigned to your case and discuss all the necessary details
  • Authorise Authorise Once we’ve got all the details of your case and you’re happy to proceed, just give us the go-ahead
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